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Jul 2016
There is no easy way to let go, no shortcut to say goodbye for a really really long time. I guess you had been practicing in the mirror what you'd tell me if you ever got the chance because you took it. It was like we were in the fighting ring but i told you so many times i wasn't strong enough to defeat you. But over and over again you had your way with me. Pulled my hair like we were in the bedroom but i stopped falling for that when you told me the key to your heart was locked inside my very own thighs. Said if i opened them enough for you to slip in you'd grab the key and let me wear it on a string around my neck. The cops found it when i was hanging from the ceiling. Said i climbed too high. That when i jumped my parachute didn't open and that's why i got caught on the ceiling fan. The coroner stated there wasnt enough space between my heart and the ground and thats why it dropped repeatedly as you told me how worthless i am.
Twelve is not the time for sane people to be awake. Its the time for broken hearted people to weep over secret keeping sheets and a mattress filled with enough sharp objects if searched thoroughly could get an arrest warrant involved. It was 11:55 when you got enough ***** to tell me you weren't in love with me.
You told me you ached for my touch because it brought you to life but in reality you were just a ***** boy looking for a way to get off without actually doing any work.
I stopped wearing skin tight clothing afraid if i moved the wrong way another you would come along. I stopped wearing the clothes that hugged my curves like a blanket of snow because i didn't want them to see the bumps from the mistakes i made.
The nights are so empty without you but I've learned how to embrace the emptiness. I've been trying for countless nights to find the instruction manual on how to cope with saying goodbye to someone who isn't even there...not anymore at least.
The first day without a single wake up call from you was only then i got my wakeup call. I cant have you. And i deserve better. You will always be that glue i tried to peel off as a kid and once im done pulling off the majority, only specks of you will be intertwined in the divets in my palm. keeping you close but only as a distant memory
It was one in the morning and i wanted to be so drunk i couldn't even remember the sound i love you made because you mistaken it for my name every time i let you find your key.
Jaxton Tyler Redmond
Written by
Jaxton Tyler Redmond  Utah
(Utah)   
394
 
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