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Jan 2012
i hate you. i hate your eyes, how they seem so big but get really small when you laugh or smile. i hate your smile, how big it is when you're laughing. i hate your hair(how u spike it once in a great while then just let it grow out and lay flat on your head) i hate your laugh(its different every time) i hate your hands, the fact that you have calluses on them from working out. i hate the way you dress, you used to be skater but now since you're on varsity you dress **** cause you think you're cool. i hate your room, the color of your walls are terrible. i hate the way you walk, with your nose in the air and your little bounce with each step. i hate the way you talk, the tone of your voice. i hate your car, the way it suits you but its so girly. i hate how we met, how cute it was. i hate the story of how we started going out, people think its adorable but all it does now is ruin my day. i hate how you treat me nowadays, how i might as well be an average face in the sea of people, not meaning anything, not even a glance as you walk by and talking to me at least as possible(short and annoyed) i hate how fast you moved on, the day we officially broke up you went over there. how you call her baby and yr one and only. the weird thing about one and only's is that there's only one one and only. I hate that you were so perfect, you treated me like a princess and i didn't appreciate it. I hate how i changed you and how you've changed. I hate that you say you feel a certain way and how you know you act differently. i hate that you tried so hard and acted like nothing was different after we broke up and wen we went on our one year date. i hate that you wrote me that book as a gift and that it was like 16 pages long. i hate that i read it like every single day after we broke up the second time. i hate that you gave me any gifts at all while we were going out. I hate that you wrote the memo book and how we wrote back and forth to each other. i hate that you tried to make everything better when you knew something was completely and utterly wrong when we were in the process of breaking up. i hate the way you used to stare into my eyes and smile, the gaze never seemed to end but i didn't seem to mind, even though i started to blush. i hate the way you used to hold my hand. i hate the way you comforted me when i was upset, how close you held me. i hate how warm you always are and how safe i feel when I'm with you. i hate that you came to my brothers graduation party. i hate that you used to look happy when you saw me and i hate that you never do when you see me now. i hate that you gave us another chance. i hate when you say ill always care about you. i hate when you say that we can just be friends right now. i hate when you say that u don't know what "us" of there is left. i hate that you're throwing the closest bond I've ever had with someone away. i hate that you're so sorry for everything you've done to me but keep making it worse. i hate it when you kiss her, it makes me stomach burn and my heart shrivel up and die. i hate that you probably feel the way towards her that you used to feel towards me. i hate that you love everything i hate about her. i hate when you defend her, as if she's the victim. i hate that you're feeling like this towards her so quickly. i hate how you are with her. you're a completely different person and everyone sees it but you. i don't even recognize your personality anymore.i hate that you don't want anything to do with me. i hate that your parents love me, because i love them and seeing them reminds me of how happy i was when they used to consider me part of the family. i hate being in my house, because there are so many memories within each square inch. i hate all the memories, every single one of them. i hate that they're burned in my mind and they won't go away. i hate all the plans we made for the future together. i hate that i know little facts about you and that i can tell what you're thinking by the look in your eyes or by anything at all. i hate that we were each others first, because now there is apart of me that you will always have. i hate your kiss, how soft it is. i hate that you're terrified to be anything else besides what we were, perfect. but the truth is, nothings ever perfect, people change, but if you truly love someone and want to be with them you adapt because you refuse to lose them. if you can't or refuse to do that, then maybe what we had was never as perfect as we thought it was, or even relatively close. I hate that I'm the only one trying. i hate that you want me to be happy, even if it involves me being with someone else. i hate how easy it is to love you. i hate that no one will ever compare to you, that nothing will ever compare to us. i hate that i will always love you, but what i hate the most is that you ever loved me at all. but weirdly, the only thing i'm able to accept is that you will read this and not even think twice about it or reply.
Written by
Alea Demetria
1.7k
     Jamie, rhea and ---
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