On occasion I suffer depression
I question:
what's real, what's good, what's bad?
How long can I keep a bag on my head
before I am dead?

Bad ideas.
I seem to have a lot of them.
When I get with bad people
I show up the lot of them.

I can be a leader,
packaged, sarcasm included,
but as a speaker I want to taunt
the devil with level minded biblical teaching.
Not a wanna be preacher but
I know some people who need some words
and a gesture.

All my life they told me I am prophet,
but next to that they say my life is off it
and its a pent up name in waitng.
I want to be more but I cant open my minds door,
it's a road block
it's a nonstop flood of doubt and pain

I feel alive
getting sick in the rain.
I feel alive
straining my back to lift the troubles.
I feel alive
when adrenaline rushes my brain and
my lungs scald from running after that after thought cause.

Legs so spent that I could collapse if it was socially acceptable
But those are mild highs compared to my so called bible side
When I walk the straight and narrow I have
guardians and sparrows watching my back
nothing can attack
me
nothing and no one can save
me
And I feel so happy
and different

So I think even though it's going
it's not going well
and if I don't make a choice
I am going to hell
And if you know me
and you know me well you know:
I love them some
and treat them well.