you know how you drive by creepy abandoned buildings really slow just for the thrill? you think "woah that's creepy. someone was probably murdered there or it's haunted." but you never really know unless you go inside. just about everyone would hesitate going into a creepy abandoned building, but wouldn't blink twice about going into a giant fresh estate. imagine going into the abandoned building to find it newly furnished and spankin' clean. then imagine going into the fresh estate and finding holes in the floor and everything covered in an inch of dust. i am the latter. i look nice on the outside and seem to have a lot going on. but without hesitating, take a step through the front door. hear it creak? be careful. you'll get tangled in the cobwebs, and your coat will get hooked on the loose nails. i'm sorry; i don't want you to leave. if you really want to, explore the whole house and maybe even stay the night. but if you want to leave in the morning, that's alright. it's dark and smells musty from the hollow memories scattered on the living room floor. i filled the cracks in the ceiling with peoples' failed attempts at loving me. i'm sorry it's so dark and cold here. i used all my matches trying to keep the last person from leaving. i've swept the floor countless times but i can't brush off what he said. i get bored because i've read every book on the shelf and they all end the same: exactly how they wanted it. i know they're fiction because this is not how i wanted it to end. why don't i just leave, you ask? well, i don't have a key. but there's no lock on the door. that's why you can get out, but i can't. so maybe it's not the building that's abandoned, maybe it's me.

a.h.d.