May 2016
I am 16 years old
Yet I am suffering from anxiety
I am suffering with the fact that I can never find my happy place
I don't understand how I feel the need to cry
I feel like I'm just a girl talking about problems
Problems that aren't that heavy
Why is that I tell bits and pieces but never the whole story
Who can I tell without looking like a fake person
See whenever I cried I was told that I was being dramatic
Till this day I don't like people seeing me cry cause I feel dramatic
I am scared of the outcome of reality
I am terrified of the fact that I cry in front of people
I am scared for the fact that the boy that I like will think of me as a basket case or even worse I will get judged
Who is to say I won't get judged
see people say that the way a person gets treated is all about their race
I never understood that
I don't get how a white boy doesn't feel the same pain we do
I don't get why I was told in the first grade that I was black
I remember picking up the black crayon and looking around to see anyone that matches that color
But never being able to find it
I don't get why I panic about this
I really do not feel the need to cry either
Today I was told to look myself in the mirror ,
I never did because I knew that I wouldn't like what I see
I don't see myself as beautiful
I do not see myself as perfect
When i see myself in the mirror the only thing I see is a face and a name
To be honest I haven't discovered who I am yet
I haven't thought about who I wanna be
Which still gives me anxiety
Ik I want to be someone
Ik I wanna reach for the stars
But I do not know why
I have trust issues I won't lie
I bottle everything up
My life is not always as it seems
I don't like to be yelled at cause I already get yelled at too much
I do not like the fact that I feel the need to hide
I do not like the fact that I never want to have children
Because knowing that I will have children
Makes me feel like I will **** them up
So please stop adding anymore anxiety honestly I'm good as it is rn
I am not a basket case
I Am not dramatic
I am simple a 16 year old girl who faces anxiety
Yet I am suffering from anxiety
I am suffering with the fact that I can never find my happy place
I don't understand how I feel the need to cry
I feel like I'm just a girl talking about problems
Problems that aren't that heavy
Why is that I tell bits and pieces but never the whole story
Who can I tell without looking like a fake person
See whenever I cried I was told that I was being dramatic
Till this day I don't like people seeing me cry cause I feel dramatic
I am scared of the outcome of reality
I am terrified of the fact that I cry in front of people
I am scared for the fact that the boy that I like will think of me as a basket case or even worse I will get judged
Who is to say I won't get judged
see people say that the way a person gets treated is all about their race
I never understood that
I don't get how a white boy doesn't feel the same pain we do
I don't get why I was told in the first grade that I was black
I remember picking up the black crayon and looking around to see anyone that matches that color
But never being able to find it
I don't get why I panic about this
I really do not feel the need to cry either
Today I was told to look myself in the mirror ,
I never did because I knew that I wouldn't like what I see
I don't see myself as beautiful
I do not see myself as perfect
When i see myself in the mirror the only thing I see is a face and a name
To be honest I haven't discovered who I am yet
I haven't thought about who I wanna be
Which still gives me anxiety
Ik I want to be someone
Ik I wanna reach for the stars
But I do not know why
I have trust issues I won't lie
I bottle everything up
My life is not always as it seems
I don't like to be yelled at cause I already get yelled at too much
I do not like the fact that I feel the need to hide
I do not like the fact that I never want to have children
Because knowing that I will have children
Makes me feel like I will **** them up
So please stop adding anymore anxiety honestly I'm good as it is rn
I am not a basket case
I Am not dramatic
I am simple a 16 year old girl who faces anxiety
