Alone, tired, scarred,
never knowing how to feel.
Always feel like i'm being watched,
or maybe being followed.

Senses! Senses i have never felt before.
Eyes open wider!
When I am alone i don't know what to feel,
what to feel besides rejection.

Longing for his touch,
Just one touch,
just that one touch will bring comfort.
Craving those words,
those words that bring hop and love,
and make me believe i am the most beautiful,
and most special girl in the entire world.
Making me feel loved,
that i am the only girl in the world.
And his arms,
those arms that make the world stop for just a moment.
Bringing safety.

But he's gone!
Gone!
Gone before your eyes.
An illusion.
Here one minute, gone the next.
Left your life as quickly as he came in.
Blaming god,
Blaming everyone for my mistake,
our mistake.
Although I am not ashamed.
I love him and always will no matter what!

Forgive?
What does that word even mean?
It has no meaning to me anymore.
I will never forgive those who took him away from me!
Although I do have a future to look forward to,
after school he will be in it.
No one will tell me different.
No one can control me anymore.

Suicide!? Cutting!? Depression!?
Al bring back a haunting past,
but I fear its all coming back.
Especially now that hes gone.

Alone!
So alone without him.
Needing!
Wanting him!
Wanting my other half!

Mood changes, lower appetite,
No sleep, depression,
Anger, tired, weak.
All feelings of being unloved and alone.

I hear them though.
Hear them in the night.
Ghosts that haunt my past,
And my so called guardians who say they care,
But talk bad about me and my mistakes.
My mistakes!
They should just let me deal with my own mistakes,
Let me learn from them on my own!