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Apr 2016
Fall hard
Or breathe harder.
It's so easy
When you put it like that.
My bones,
Which were barely ever able to keep me standing
Will break like eggs -
Every one of them.

"Don't do it"
Interrupts a passing stranger
Who would just love to tell his friends
About how he saved someone's life today.
"It will hurt more than you think."
"Maybe" I reply,
"But I'm taking the pain down with me.

That's right, I'm talking to you" I say
To the cold, crushing tightness in my chest
That my teenage self was sure would be gone by now -
"How does it feel now?
Who's the one in control now?!"

And I really am,
For the first time,
In control.
I'm in control over all those kids at school
Who insisted they were only teasing.
They'll have to remember me now
Even after I've splattered their faces
All over the pavement;
Along with all those looks of dismissal
People would give me
Before returning to their conversations
About how much they admire difference.

"Don't do it."
Says another voice -
A cop this time -
"Let's talk." he says
In his negotiator's voice
"You don't want to do this.
Trust me,
He's a clever man, this one.
He knows no one on Earth
Would ever want their last conversation
To have been with a cop.

I have to concede.
"Alright then officer,
Take me home."
I'll beat him to it next time.
Tomorrow, the choice will still be to
Fall hard
Or breathe harder.
I just really need
To write all this down first.
Nassif Younes
Written by
Nassif Younes  Scotland
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