at 12 years old I found love with a girl who to this day has never left my mind

it wasn't love, of course

it was a cute case of a dependant child finding someone to be close to for the first time

but it's reassuring to think of her every now and then- a reminder that life will always go on, no matter what

even when you think you can't breathe or live without an idea that never truly happened

She was and remains nothing to me
And I think that is all she will ever be

But will always hold a place in my heart, a place of childishness and embarrassing yet precious memories

I guess I just loved the idea of her
I guess that's what I'm mourning, not her