It’s 3am and I can’t sleep
My hearts too heavy to dream
My eyes burn as I walk through the halls
Trying to find shelter from my thoughts
I’ve got a strange feeling
I guess heartache is what it’s called
And I carry her with me everywhere I go
I’ve learned to hide her well
Leave the room inside my head where she lies, when they ask
Deny her existence everywhere I turn
But when it gets quiet I can hear her crying
Moaning through the halls that she paces each night
Mourning the loss of the one that she loved
I think I died that night
The one where you left me alone
Lied and said it wasn’t her who had called
And I believed you
I believed that you wanted to be with me but you had a client emergency that couldn’t be avoided
But you promised you’d be home just as soon as you were done
1 hour, you said
3 hours passed
I cried myself to sleep praying not to see another day
You left me alone and I died that night
It was 3am when you returned
The smell of her all over your skin
The taste of her spit still on your lips
I felt more disgusting in that moment than I have ever felt in my entire life
I realized where you had been as you slid your hand down my pants
You looked at me and you knew that I knew
You panicked and ran off to take a shower
You tried to burn her fingerprints from your skin
Tried to wash away all of the guilt and shame
Tried to maintain the lie
I paced through the living room
Trying to grasp the reality that had recently become my own
It hurt
It hurt like hell
It was 3am and I died that night, and each night since then