I feel so out-of-touch and small talk seems out of reach. Are my thoughts worth airing? Maybe its better to not speak. See, lately I've been thinking. More so than usual. And its come to my attention that my attention is unusual. I can't believe it took me this long to realize just how egocentric I can be. A fourth of my life is gone and its always been about me. I know and acknowledge that you're a person too but something has changed and I feel like I can't talk to you.
Where once it was effortless, now conversing is difficult. Instead of truly listening I'm preparing my rebuttals. It isn't that I don't care. It isn't that I'm disinterested. But it feels like my volume knobs got ****** up and I can barely listen. Why is my head louder than reality? It's exhausting to focus on anyone but me. Truly a self-serving, self-centered friend I am. Sorry.