I’ll bet you never knew one place could be so deafening and still so achingly silent at the same time. Well now you do. You don’t need to try and tell me about that feeling; about how none of it makes sense, about how even though all your insides have evaporated into nothingness, your body feels so painfully heavy that you fear at any moment you may suddenly just sink through the floor.
I know how it makes your heart feel; Standing in an unfamiliar place and looking down at your cracked and calloused hands, only to realize that it’s not actually unfamiliar at all. The black of the night and the absence of street lights tried their best to let you keep your ignorance, your bliss, if you could call it that, but they should know better. You can’t save anyone.
I know how the hair on the back of your neck stands up and the frigid wind washes over you and sinks it’s teeth straight into your bones. I know how your lips start to tremble and your knees quake like somebody took the bone out and put jelly back in instead. How your breath catches in your throat and you look around the void with your frantic eyes, looking for anything to grab on to.
How the same frantic eyes turn dark and damp once you realize that they’re all just past versions of you. Pale and blue and faded, Crying for something, begging, pleading. Their mouths are moving, and your mouth is moving but no matter how hard you squeeze your eyes shut and scream, no sound will come out.