It sang at the most inappropriate times
Sometimes it was silent but when it whistled
In the room when no one heard it was an
Understatement that it wasn't a tune liked
Noses heard its silence and ran from the room.

Then there was the alphabet it came out loud
And proud, never just a single one but many
Over a short period of time. Sometimes it was
Just whistles in the wind while other times
It pushed me gently but firmly along.

Sometimes it must be said that famous phrase,
"Say it don't spray it,
When I felt the wet breath of air, followed by that
Dribble that lingers down the trousers till a
Brown egg lays upon the floor and everyone stared.

It breaths so many tunes some are a lift while others
Do nothing but **** the flowers in the room, giving
All a nosebleed as it lingers upon the air. Sheets are
Lifted heads pushed under to taste the breeze, then
Gags heaving as the wife releases his head and he
Tastes fresh air rather than that stagnant belch heave.

"Whistle a silent one, two maybe three,
"Never give away that it was your gift,
"Let it linger in the lift, room or breeze,
"If you heave in that moment, eyes watering,
"Then karma sniffed you out, you tasted everything,
"Wet or dry its natures whistle, come sing with me,

My bottoms naughty songs will always be singing
Just never knowing which one it'll be.