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Feb 2016
Imagine an idea
That is screaming and golden
Growing special
Each day

The weight of my existence was harder to handle
A clean grace that remained
Through the night
I started to run for some reason
And the sensation was strange
But no one noticed
I closed my eyes
And painted the canvas that sits
On the backs of my eyelids
With bright hues
Of all of my favorite colors
Swirls of red, blue, pink, yellow, purple and green
The colors are calming and only
Propel me forward
Now the streets are changing colors
And my breath is getting heavier

In the middle,
The streets become wider
Turning in circles
And I want to blame
Someone
Or something
But I am done being bitter
And beating myself up all the time
I am smiling now
At all of the beautiful and colorful things
Manifesting right in front of my eyes

There is a ***** bliss
And my mind is more attentive
I do not feel as though I need to continue searching,
Letting all of the aching wondering swirl up and around me
Invading my pure and unconscious thoughts
Making me feel like an evil little mess
And then I remind myself that I am my own worst critic

There are frequent,
But completely unknown,
Voices that exist inside of my thoughts
They're not always nice to each other either
They all talk at the same time
And it gets really confusing
They're rarely quiet
But when they are,
The hollowness is not comfortable

As I run,
The voices seem to be talking faster and louder
And I want it all to stop

It feels like my loneliness is spurting out of me in colorful hues like warm gurgling blood  
And I belong to a precious experience
Possessing a knowledge and a passion that was released into my innocence as a youth
Now that my innocence has diminished,
The passion and the knowledge have changed shape
But they are more prominent
Stronger and more powerful than ever before

There are flames on the mountaintops as I stand below them
A stranger laughs and the sunshine glints perfectly atop my twisted and stained fingertips
My wounds have been shed
The rage that was once poison has transformed
Despite the depths of the secret monster that lives inside of me
Hanging despair up by clothespins
I know that the void is fading

Tender wisdom as the greatest killing machine and strings like puppets with no imagination
Respect as a season
That is stuck and stained
Higher
Reaching the horizon
Understanding the changing stream of colors and voices alike

Courage as thunder
Rough weather,
But a beautiful outcome
Kissing the smoothing madness
That swims inside of me daily
Travelling strangers repeating humanity
The mystery is painful
The company is invisible
She'll perfectly fade and disappear and though you will be sad,
You must not forget that it will all be beautiful
And perfect

The ****** ancient curse
And the hidden nasty beast
Have conversations that rhyme
But the gods shine down speaking infinitely
Begging for me to destroy the shell
And fill the holes
Brush off the dirt
And swallow the moonlight

Delicate fields of flying pink petals surround me
The chaos is twice as intense
But never forget that one must
Have chaos burning within them
To give birth to a shining star

By: Evynne Doue
Evynne
Written by
Evynne
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