You left me with a broken heart that could never be mended A gaping hole that can never be filled A heart engulfed in coldness that no amount of heat can thaw A longing that will now forever be unrequited
Earlier that day I had this dead weight on my shoulders There was this gnawing feeling I just can’t simply shake off But I put on the mask of bravery, it was something I was accustomed to wearing whenever I talk to you. Each night before I go to sleep I remove the bravery mask and cry myself to sleep, numbing the ever present pain. Promise me no more crying you said while touching my cheeks. I cannot promise that was my silent reply
Mom called that morning, she said it’s bad From the scale of bad to death she was pretty euphemistic It had always been bad, it never got better So when she said it, I was confused by the worry in her voice It couldn’t be what I was thinking, it just couldn’t be, I am not ready yet. I will never be ready.
Room 202: I was standing just right outside the white door, holding on to the useless doorknob who couldn’t support the heavy feeling in my chest Brave Mask. I opened the door with a smile but with evident worry in my eyes. I immediately greeted you Happy Valentine’s day, an I love you and a peck on your left cheek You said Happy Valentine’s and I love you too. You held me by the nape a second too long And between those labored breaths and that smile reserved for me, I knew it was time. No. No. No. Turmoil of emotion swirled inside me. The Brave Mask slowly slipping off.
Your last breath was the one thing I wanted to erase in my head It was etched there, vivid and all too painful to bear You promised me a lot of things Papa You said you will see me through my graduation in law school You said you will be there as I sign the Roll of Attorneys You didn’t keep you promises And here I am trying to tip toe at the wake you have left Here I am trying to picture the future without you Here I am watching my very heart break every single time.
They say things get easier That I would learn to accept that you are gone But what they don't know is a part of me died with you and I will never be whole ever again.