I want you wrapped around me in fragments and shards,
Tearing at my flesh, make me bleed, make me turn your white into red.
Beg me to take you back, speak words to me that you twist into a noose.
Hang me. Lead me to my death, make me choke on every lie I ever let dig into my neck.
Shove the memories down my throat where they die and become ghosts;
I'm sure they'll haunt every consonant and vowel I dare to retaliate with.
Tell me I make you die every night, just a little.
Tell me that I'm your imagination personified,
Or that I'm the shadow of the enlightenment you seek,
Or that I'm anything but the distraction you tore me down to.
Do the excuses ever rot your soul?
Does the putrefaction ever seep through the sheets and into the mattress?
Are you used to it, or do you always find a new bed to sleep on?
Do the bodies ever freeze up from lying next to you?
It doesn't matter now, I just want your poison in me,
Mapping out my veins, make it hard to navigate my way out of death.
There's no light in you.
Your soul is dead, because your eyes are dead,
And that's why you avert my gaze.
Meanwhile, my intentions have never been clearer,
And my soul has never been more drowned in tears.
They've been making patterns, staining the pillow
Like panes of glass that stain church windows.
But our relationship wasn't a church, you're not God
And I definitely don't have any faith in you anymore.
I just want you begging to me in fragments and shards,
Seeking comfort and forgiveness at my lonely wrists.