i lay awake at night
reminiscing on beautiful memories
until a snag sticks out of the corner of my recollections
my throat collapses tightly
like the tragedy i'm meant to fade into

for 5 years i've been trying to put together
the mystery of how you looked at me
i keep trying to seal my eyes with your love
but i am clouded by the haunting reality
that what i want will never be

i will always remember
how you held my thin wrists
my veins pulsating through my skin to yours
and how such tiny hands
could grasp the entirety of my heart

i remember the poetry you spoke
word after word
they built up a passion inside i thought i had lost
you showed me what the world was worth

but then the world split into two
just like my heart
you fell in love, and i was lost again
the ground swallowed me whole

but no matter the whereabouts
of the sheets that cover up the scars i have succumbed
i will lay awake reminiscing the beauty of these memories

of how i had fallen in love

n.j.