Answer us true
How old are you?
Are you boy or girl?
Close your eyes.
Do you see a fire or a whirl-
wind? How much have you sinned?

Given a choice pick
red or blue?
Given a choice pick none or new?

Picture yourself in the woods.
Do you see a horse or a mare?
A rabbit or a hare?
Is it a half empty or half full barr-
el? Have you ever thought to ****?

Do your dreams end in flight
or fall?
Do you fight when held up
against a wall?
Do you stand up strong and tall?
Or hunch down,
make yourself small?
Do you like your peanuts sal-
ted? Do you like your coffee malted?

Do you fidget when you eat?
Tap to music with your feet?
Is your happiness fleet-
ing when your life has you beat?

Do you gaze directly at the sun?
Shade your love from
coming undone?
Do you largely have fun-
ctional relationships?

And last, not least, has come:
What do you think of your dear mum
and dad? Did they turn you good or bad?

Now we've collated your results.
You're [insert personality type here]
I hope now it's all so clear,
this box in which you fit best.
We've emailed you this score lest
you forget the results
of your Personality Test.