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Jan 2016
I was opened up all unexpected, the moon and it's lunar glory laid out before me.
People always passing regardless, for all of your highs and all of your lows the world will continue unaffected. Through the park passing houses waking up and eating breakfast, time waits for no man! There is certainly an allure in isolation, for three and a half years I would work the night shift, leaving for work as everyone else was sat down comfortable before football matches or soaps only to return as the last moments of dreamtime were being enjoyed only to be eroded by alarm clocks and waking obligation.
In deepest midwinter between st Stephens day and the new year, when the whole world would exists (apparently) in some eternal festive stupor those lucky enough to work 9-5 jobs and enjoy there weekends will never truly appreciate everything this period is. There's no finer reminder of the carefree existence a good childhood can afford, than having to ensure on Boxing Day you drink precious little to ensure you shall be able to rise for work at 4:50 am the next day. No amount of turkey or cliche television viewing will make up for it, none whatsoever. An deep rooted bitterness forms like a pool of water on a frosty night it soon hardens, as plans are laid out in anticipation of the forthcoming festivities, no I won't be in attendance. I will not drink, I will not dance, I will not be a shoulder to cry on when all the world the world seems evil. I'll be watching the clock and silently seething, hoping above all some great misfortune falls upon all those fortunate enough to enjoy Christmas properly. A broken ankle? a premature end to  relationship? I could hardly be classified as picky when it comes to planning others peril, I just want everyone to be as upset as I am.

When the world weighs heaviest, and sleepless evenings are standard I often walk. Without anything of worth I can walk for hours in any direction. The road at night affords reflection,  I've always been a sucker for romance and well really is there anywhere which can offer more romance than the open road? I've always felt personally a deep attachment to the horizon, all that promise. I remember as a child staring upon it with a sense of reverent awe, between the high rise flats a hill.  Matterhorn it ain't but who is anyone to define beauty anyway? I would often find myself gravitating toward the golf course in the darkness contrary to popular belief (in my opinion atleast) dark parks are the safest place at night. You become an unknown entity, it's a simple logic who would be brave enough to walk in the park at night? who would approach or engage with a solo walker in the evening in the park? It's quite simply a risk not worth taking for most . Is there no greater reminder of eternity than the M25? to stare upon it is a subtle reminder that no matter what happens people will still be going somewhere and for me atleast that beats standing still. A line of white lights stretching out deep into the distance
shining bright forever and always.
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daniel f
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daniel f
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