after everything you've done
this is what i'm grateful for
this is my silver lining
or blue lines in a notebook
you are the reason i first put pencil to paper and i'd like to say that i hate you for firmly making me grab the eraser
you make me write symphonies in my head
but sometimes i want to rip them to shreds
when I see you in the audience, the put in my stomach grows
as you listen and you know
but it's not about you
it's about me
because this is the only way that I feel free
and it's scary
because i also love you
for destroying me
and leaving me with a jar of ink
this is my form of expression
to escape from this feeling of depression
i put down every single thought
and i find that you appear a lot
so i transform you into words
and butterflies and chirping birds
and nightmares and the single cloud always hanging over my head
that is you
and when people say
"oh it's creepy that she writes about him"
i think it's only fair
you completely shattered me
and the least i should be able to do is write some poetry
because it's the only time that i can breathe
and maybe all these feelings will leave
and i know that they often grow
but when i transform you on paper
that's when i know
that it's okay to feel this way
i'll hate you and love you
and the only reason for either one
is because you gave me this gift
and sometimes try to take it and run
so i guess what i'm trying to say is that writing about you comes easy
even though getting over this was not
you were not what you seemed
and i hate and love it at the same time
for example, this poem wasn't meant to rhyme
but then all of my thoughts combined and there you were
so yes i write about you
and you can tell all your friends too
this wasn't meant to glorify
it was just trying to simplify
the equation of me
and to do that
i'll use poetry
so i'd like to thank you
for introducing me to me