Hangs noose.
Loads gun.
Turns on car,
shuts garage door.
Sticks head in oven
Sylvia Plath style.
Leaps off of unforgiving bridge
and meets water with a smack.
Tangos with oncoming traffic
transfixed by headlights
like once frolicking dear.
Sticks tongue into outlet
to see what electricity tastes like.
Attempts to cuddle with hungry
bear after it emerges from hibernation.
Gets thrown to wolves,
and fails to return leading the pack.

Suicide by irony.
Gun backfires in robbery and attacker gets a brain bleed
in the form of a gaping hole.