Now here's a handy little tip I came across by chance,
While visiting the bathroom as a lad home from a dance.
I was a little worse for alcohol, so have to be forgiven,
For the odd thoughts that occur to me when I am ***** driven.

I was there to give my teeth a brush and stood in fear of death,
As I had to get some mint on board before mum smelt my breath.
So I loaded up my toothbrush and I’d squeezed a good supply,
When I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye.

Well, I turned around quite slowly just in case it was a mouse.
For I'd seen them in the garden twice, but never in the house.
I was set to do the pouncing stuff, but then was forced to laugh,
As my eyes met two big spiders that were trapped down in the bath.

While I stood and watched their climbing fails I’d built up quite a foam,
And I thought, I shouldn't waste it, I should spit it a new home.
So I climbed up on the bath tub rim and hovered like a dove,
And with those spiders as my targets - I would bomb them from above.

Well, it took so many efforts, I was aiming like a fool,
Which meant I soon ran out of ammo, so I climbed down to refuel.
So I spread my Colgate nice and thick and brushed away for fun,
Till I’d whipped another mouthful, for another bombing run.

And then at last I hit one, on the edge with just some dregs,
And I watched with glazed amazement as it paralysed three legs.
With just five legs to drag himself, he couldn't reach his max,
Then I hit him with a splatter bomb which stopped him in his tracks.

I never thought our tooth paste drops would do them that much harm,
But the effect on those poor spiders was as deadly as ******.
The good news is, it sobered me, all that hanging over head,
And my teeth had never been so clean and both of them were dead.

Well this tip that I pass on to you, is bound to come in handy,
Just share it with your family and they'll love it more than candy.
You can save yourself a pile of work, catching bugs for tub release,
It will clear your house of spiders; clean your bath and kiddy's teeth.