Is it something about the wind. You left us so quickly daddy. Only weeks after mom fell into the cold sleep. Now at the old house I am clearing away all the things you left here remaining In our lives. This task seems endless But I am sitting quietly in your old leather chair the Times and your glasses are still on the side table. You were completing the crossword. It is half done. I start to finish it. Almost feeling you there. Telling me to use a pencil to easily erase my incorrect answers. Even though you always used a pen.
I am feeling vulnerable daddy Like when I was a little girl. I find my mind saying Who will look after me now? Who else will have the answers to all my problems.? The right answers you can Write in ink not pencil. It was always you daddy. From being a child You would raise me up in the air. And say you have the world by the tail my kitten. Young smart and beautiful. I donβt feel any of those things right now. I just want you and the faint smell Of your aromatic pipe tobacco. And to hear your soft kind voice daddy. I know you did not have much to leave. But you left in me a joy and love and the overwhelming privilege of being your daughter. I know since being older I did not say this as much as perhaps I should have. Thank you for always being you I love you Dad.