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Nov 2015
My whole body was flooded with agony from head to toe as the tears poured from the corner of my eyes. You stood infront of me saying not a word with your head bowed down. I also kept silent but it wasn't because I didn't have any words, it was because I had so much to say but I knew it didn't mean anything anymore. Those unspoken words have never left my mind to this day...

But I knew it was pointless. I turned my back and took a few steps and as I was walking I realized I wasn't just walking away from my best friend, my lover and my entire world. But I was walking away from everything I had put into you.

All the work and effort I had put into you. I had tried to fix you, but I couldn't. You were unfixable. Never in my life had I ever failed at anything before. I mean, I had failed a test before and had failed at games and other things of such. But I never quit, because it's in my nature to strive for success. You are the only thing in my life I have ever failed at. But I couldn't turn back. I kept walking away from you. I was so broken and ruined and overall just drained. I was mentally exhausted. I had tried so hard, more than you deserved and more than any other girl would have put up with, but I did all of it because I loved you.

Then I stopped walking away. I stood still, wiping away remains of smeared mascara from my cheeks with the cuff of my hoodie. I had to stop sticking up for you like I always did. I didn't fail you, no, you failed me. You let me down. You didn't give me support and unconditional love and acceptance the way I did for you. You changed me and brought out the worst and darkest side of me. I lifted you up and you pushed me down. You failed me.

But it was okay, it really was. Because like I said, I'm not a quiter, I'm a succeeder. I find solutions and different paths to achieve success. And I knew then that I was stronger then I realized. I was going to get through this. I didn't lose, fail or quit. In the end I won, because I lost someone who didn't love me but you lost someone who truly loved and adored you more than anyone or anything in the whole world. You lost the girl who would have done anything and everything for you just to see you smile at her own expense. And I wanted you to know that you may have wrecked me but I was going to pick up the pieces and rebuild myself up again, stronger than ever. So when you see me later on in life, you will see me succeeding and you will have failed without me, the only person who pushed you to strive for success. I wanted to promise you that you were going to regret ******* up with me.

So I turned around and walked back to you as you opened your arms to embrace me. I shoved away the arms that once made me feel at home. I looked you in the very eyes I used to get lost in and I then said what I needed you to know.

"I am the best thing that has ever happened to you. When everyone had given up on you I believed in you. I didn't give up on you. Why? Because you don't give up on people you love. And I loved you. I loved you more than anything. It wasn't easy to always stick by you. I lost and destroyed myself by falling in love with you. But I did it all because I loved you. You're going to look back and remember me and everything I did for you. And then once you realize that I was so good, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life once everyone has given up on you and you're going to wish I was by your side again. You're going to remember me and remember that I was the girl who you broke. "

And then I walked away and never again looked back.
Based on my actual break up
Queen Of Disaster
Written by
Queen Of Disaster  texas
(texas)   
898
     ---, Summer, princessv and R
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