It's 1 in the morning and I'm trying to decide how I want to die

But I don't want to die, of course not.

I want to live.
I just want to live in a way in which I feel good..

Hell, a life in which I feel anything would be great.

"Pain is the only thing that reminds us we feel"

sure, okay!

I don't even ******* dream anymore.

What does life mean when you don't even want anything out of it?

If you can't dream or aspire then what is the actual point ?

What's the point of living as a ghost ?