Do you remember when
I was someone
When I laughed about
Little things and I
Smiled often simply because
I could see the
Beauty in every
Single breath I took

Do you remember when
I used to read
All of the silly
Romance novels that
Lived on my bookshelf
And my bedside
Table because I
Believed that there was
Hope for forever
Becoming a reality

Do you remember when
I  was someone who
Was happy with the
Person that I
Knew that I was  and
I never had to
Ask anyone to define
Me and everything that
I stood for

Do you remember when
I was about
Something other than
Cigarettes and
The sad poetry that
Lines my walls and runs
Through my mind all
Of my waking
Hours that I used to
Spend talking to the
People that meant
Everything to me

Do you remember when
I was myself and not
Just someone who goes through
The motions and gets
By pretending to be
Strong when in
Reality my walls are
Crumbling and I
Have lost all hope

Do you remember when
I had never cut
Myself in an attempt
To understand why the
Pain was so much
Better than what I
Had to offer the
People that I watched
Fade away into
Nothingness just
Like I am doing now

Do you remember when
I didn't ****
Myself not because some
One needed me but
Because living was the
Thing that made me
Feel the most
Alive when I
Was at my worst

Do you remember when
I was
Something real and
Not just a
Reflection of the
People who
Were slowly dying in
Front of my
Eyes the same
People who have
Made me this way

*The Suicide Diaries