Nov 2015
Transgender: denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender.
My mom told me I shouldn't be trent I shouldn't be him. I shouldn't exist. I shouldn't take testosterone for the rest of my life. . She told me if I go through with it she could not feel comfortable around me as if I'm Satan himself clawing my way through her child's body taking up the space and making her fear for her life. By the age of five I knew something was different with me Barbie's weren't my friends those imaginative dreams were locked away and grown out of. Age 12 I knew I shouldn't be looking at the girls this way. They way a guy looks at a girl or vice versa but she was like a goddess. I begged myself to stop liking girls that it was nasty because growing up in a house that is deeply embedded in a church they make comments that hurt you because your everything they don't want you to be. Age 13 my mom told me to go after that guy because he could treat me right. I listened and ended up with a cut down the side of my face. Age 16 I came out halfway. Told my parents I was merely bisexual tried to play the feminine part but every time I looked in the mirror I saw the man who hid in the rocking chair where my heart was suppose to be. He wanted out but I snuffed him out like the flame of a candle. Age 17 I couldn't take living in a lie I proclaimed I am Trent and girls are my weakness. They told me It was merely because I was sexually assaulted and wanted to have power and become the man who took mine away. First month out I cut my hair and changed what I wore my smile grew and confidence boosted this is who I am. Second month out they don't accept it wrapped their hands like vines over my mouth and told me its just a phase keep him in. They didn't hear me when I was in the bathroom tying ace bandage around the ******* upon my body I can't make disappear. When my ribs cracked they scoffed and said what a beautiful girl you are. Age 18 I will move out start college, begin counseling so I can be put on testosterone. Age 19 my voice will deepen my face will look just one step closer to manly. Age 21 I will get my associates degree go to my second college and continue my cure for not being able to be the daughter they wanted. Age 23, I will be shot, *****, brutally attacked because of who I am . my name will be added to the statistics and I will go unremembered. My killer will get off with a free get out of jail card and my body will rot. The body I have grown to love because its mine it is me. its not fair I have to glue my mouth shut because your not comfortable with who I am. And instead of talking about it like adults they will have killed me for being myself.
My mom told me I shouldn't be trent I shouldn't be him. I shouldn't exist. I shouldn't take testosterone for the rest of my life. . She told me if I go through with it she could not feel comfortable around me as if I'm Satan himself clawing my way through her child's body taking up the space and making her fear for her life. By the age of five I knew something was different with me Barbie's weren't my friends those imaginative dreams were locked away and grown out of. Age 12 I knew I shouldn't be looking at the girls this way. They way a guy looks at a girl or vice versa but she was like a goddess. I begged myself to stop liking girls that it was nasty because growing up in a house that is deeply embedded in a church they make comments that hurt you because your everything they don't want you to be. Age 13 my mom told me to go after that guy because he could treat me right. I listened and ended up with a cut down the side of my face. Age 16 I came out halfway. Told my parents I was merely bisexual tried to play the feminine part but every time I looked in the mirror I saw the man who hid in the rocking chair where my heart was suppose to be. He wanted out but I snuffed him out like the flame of a candle. Age 17 I couldn't take living in a lie I proclaimed I am Trent and girls are my weakness. They told me It was merely because I was sexually assaulted and wanted to have power and become the man who took mine away. First month out I cut my hair and changed what I wore my smile grew and confidence boosted this is who I am. Second month out they don't accept it wrapped their hands like vines over my mouth and told me its just a phase keep him in. They didn't hear me when I was in the bathroom tying ace bandage around the ******* upon my body I can't make disappear. When my ribs cracked they scoffed and said what a beautiful girl you are. Age 18 I will move out start college, begin counseling so I can be put on testosterone. Age 19 my voice will deepen my face will look just one step closer to manly. Age 21 I will get my associates degree go to my second college and continue my cure for not being able to be the daughter they wanted. Age 23, I will be shot, *****, brutally attacked because of who I am . my name will be added to the statistics and I will go unremembered. My killer will get off with a free get out of jail card and my body will rot. The body I have grown to love because its mine it is me. its not fair I have to glue my mouth shut because your not comfortable with who I am. And instead of talking about it like adults they will have killed me for being myself.
A compilation from my other two
