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Nov 2015
There are still days when I think of you.  
When the air smells like afternoon walks,
and the blue sky looks over me with kindness.  
When the wind wraps an arm around my shoulder and walks me to class.  
  
There are still times that I see you,
wearing your heart on your sleeve, and concern in your eyes because love is just your style.  
When you open your chest but close your eyes, to hide the vulnerability in your tenderness.  

And you laugh the loudest just to catch my eye.    

And there are nights when I no longer hear you
howling to the waning moon,
because you’re scared that she’s leaving too.

And because you were never a wolf in sheep’s clothing,
just a pup who’s bark should have been worse than his bite.  
Nights when you hide in the caves that I dug for you in the sides of mountains when they refused to move.

And there are still days when I think of you.
And I think of how you built me castles out of sand.
How my tears brought down walls like the ocean around me and exposed me to a cold I never knew.
And how you were gone, a bandit in the night, with the broken pieces of my trust.

These are the days that I wish I could sleep through,
but I can’t sleep forever.
Some nights, I can’t sleep at all.
So those nights I wish, in the biting cold, on the stars that shine over my fallen castle.
And I howl at the moon and I hug the breeze and I hope you ******* feel it.

I hope there are days you want to call me.
Like the night she finally kisses you hello,
so you can tell me how she fills your days with laughter and your nights with warmth,
Or the morning you wake up and finally find the courage to tell the world your truth.

And when you do, I hope you realize how long its been since you had my number.
I hope you can’t remember what my voice sounds like, howling to the moon together until the sun chased us down.
I hope that it hurts a little
when you taste the venom on your tongue.

I hope you wish you’d swallowed it,
because I can’t bare sting.

And because I’d like to think you think of me some days,
when the wind is at your back and by your side
keeping you company on your walk home.
Tori Jurdanus
Written by
Tori Jurdanus
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