I don’t see the same me others do.
I get told that I’m lots of things .
In my mind most of them never seem to make sense,
to correlate more or less.
It’s like this list they keep pulling out of air.
When ever I read it, it says the same thing,
but never do I understand.
Beautiful they say,
why don’t I see it?
Intelligent or smart,
then why don’t I understand you?
Its like this over whelming tide
that my soul got ****** into.
No matter how hard I resist,
I always let it take me in the end,
Right before I break free.
I’m always up long enough though,
long enough to see right where I want to be,
where I should,
but never have I,
or will I,
or can I attain it,
and it burns me.
But for some reason I can’t stop.
I don't enjoy sticking my hand into the fire
but since I haven't felt or seen the sun
from under the water
I don't know what it really feels like any more.
At least when your hand is in the fire
you feel pain
rather that then nothing.
Everything is better then nothing.
At least,
in my eyes.