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Oct 2015
A list:

He wears blue.
I love blue.

His clothes fit.
Mine don't.

He isn't ashamed to wear his spectacles.
I am. I am. I see myself too clearly with them.

He only eats vegetables because he has been convinced for four years.
I have never ever been absolutely convinced of anything for longer than a day.

Maybe except gravity.

Me, pulled like a planet into his orbit.
A minor planet,
But no.

I am not a romantic.
My fingers stutter on the keyboard.

He's smart.
I am, but differently-abled.

His quiet is cool.
My quiet is shy and sweet and all the things girls are supposed to be until we find out that we don't have to shave our legs because ***** patriarchy.

He had a vegan mint rolled oat brownie for lunch but they are not cake because they're flourless.
I ordered the 'beef salad' on the menu because I thought it was funny.

And all these reasons that we wouldn't fit, and still a thrill of excitement. And the girls around us that make us laugh and the girls who are not me who make him laugh. And the shame at having tried too hard and acting too cute and being too, just being too...

Bless me, for I have sinned.
I saw the fantasy before the person.
Made a list. I suppose I do like him, I did, I do, I don't want to. But mostly because he represents everything I can't have and am not. I just needed to exorcise all these emotions.
Shrinking Violet
Written by
Shrinking Violet
861
       -, ---, South by Southwest, rachelle, --- and 2 others
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