and the bottom layer, against my bones knows
that it's been a long time since I've anxiously awaited someone's response.

I always drop off,
maybe I jump.
All I know is that my cheek is forever grazing the pavement.

I never know if I jump or if I'm pushed.

Maybe because I can't feel anything all anymore.

and the harmless always skewer me with their words or
with their silent hearts.

and I try to decide if the red water I see is always blood
or if I'm just dreaming all the time.

It's been awhile since I've met a human that's not a stranger.
I'm forever a stranger.
I'm stranger than I even understand.