Foam frankenstein monsters with binbag capes
Bed sheet ghosts and DIY devils
All half-arsed make-up and that same plastic nose
Used for the warty witch costume over and over
Since 14 years or so ago
Us bin liner clad kids with time running out
Scout for houses with jack-o-lanterns
When we chant trick or treat we hope for a sweet
Though old biddies keep stickers letting us know
We're not welcome
And the clock is ticking we go home before 9
And end this ritual at age 12
As long as you have a family in tow
Can you call the day festive at all
But the TV still boasts of a spooky halloween
Wild parties, confectionary and ghosts
Yankee sitcoms show specials every week!
Their customs are elaborate and serious
Costumes take months of foreplanning
And houses are strewn with statues and skulls
Front garden diaramas could rival
Dickensian Christmas back home
Kids and teens are promised sacks of treats
Twinkies, hersheys and candy corn
And you don't get headmasters
Warning children against bugging old ladies
Because halloween is for all ages!
Not just kids in binbags and a plastic false nose