tell me why its hard for me to live out my own philosophy?
Im plagued by hypocrisy
this is not how how I was meant to be
this is not what I tried to be
this is not me

you say keep on keeping on
bounce in my step singing a song?
I wish
be happy?
relate to where Im coming from you *******
again Im sorry but this is not me

let me explain:
a scratch on my lens distorts all that I see
each mental note I take
is written on damp moldy paper that
I try to dry by the heat of the fire but
it gets lost to the flames
and I sustain my condition
and lay in the same position
for days on end. there is no end
to this meager attempt
at finding a loop hole to jump through
and even if one opened up Im still on the fence
if Id be better off on the other side
because I fear what comes next but
hopes are that it will cleanse.
and as I push through to you
listening to the humming of my tired seamstress
ready to finish weaving
what it took my lifetime to fray

Im haunted by the image
of the last fragile thread
taught and broken
sending me down down
down
arms reaching
for your familiar face
with that familiar look
of dismay