The absence of you, Is so noticeable in the house, You could say it's the elephant in the room. The joy you brought with your laughter echoes soundlessly in our ears as only the ghost of it is left to hear. The awkwardness that was so tangible in you still leaves me feeling awkward at times. I still imagine you out there in Oklahoma as you were two years ago. Should you have stayed there? Would you still be here if you hadn't come back? So many questions no one will ever have the answers for. I miss you're breathtaking hugs that could probably crack someone's ribs if they weren't prepared for it. I miss the scent of your cologne as you prepared for dates with women that never deserved you unwavering attention. They can all go to hell. I miss watching cartoons with you and YouTube videos and just laughing together. I miss playing Borderlands with you. I can't play it anymore because I have no idea what's going on and I never did; I always followed your lead. You were my hero in many ways. You were there for me when mom and dad yelled at me for not eating my food. You'd come to my rescue and bring me zebra cakes. You were there after the many heartbreaks I suffered. Why aren't you here for the biggest of them all? I miss you so much. You were the best brother I could have asked for. Now it's just me and Stacey. You're little sisters still needed you. Why did you have to go?