if i was a tree i'd have roots so ******* deep
you wouldn't ******* believe it.

if i was a drunk man i'd hold the ground
steady with my face.

if i was sunlight i'd burn the **** outta your shoulders
and then change into Aloe
before you even ******* noticed.

if i was a racecar i could only be driven backwards
but i'd go fast as **** because
my rubber is hot.

if i was a huge cedar chest i'd keep secrets inside myself
because no one ******* cares about them
and i'd keep hope there too in case someone
started to.

if i was an alarm clock i'd let you pound me in your sleep
but i'd still scream at you in the
early hours of the morning
because without me you'd ******* die.

if i was a hurricane i'd blow right through your back yard
but leave everything untouched
and you standing there admiring my girth.