When I was young,
My mom told me I was pretty,
Cute,
And beautiful.

I was this little girl
Who was always happy,
Who was always comfortable with herself,
Who was secure.

But now,
I cry myself to sleep.
I look at the mirror and turn away.
Because I know I didn't like how I looked.

I became someone who lost security.
I lost myself trying to find myself.
I killed my soul.
I became dead.

No matter how much I write,
I can't say how I feel.
I didn't know how to put it in words.

I looked through dictionaries to find what this feeling was called.
Never found it.
Divergent, isolated, separated, alone.

Insecure.