"Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop straight off the block" Nas and Jigga beef was the first I heard of drama in the music industry- fueled me as a youngin' crowned from my brother's love of it. Fast forward to when the radio put me on- in the garage, on my mongoose I heard someone spitting through the stereo didn't pay much mind until a high-pitched voice rang through. "Through the wire-" no "through the fire?" I couldn't understand but this dude started rhyming and speaking through the speakers at me my hair raised up and I knew this was love- smile on my face at first listen never really heard anything like it. I thought back to the first song like that I heard- "Life's a ***** and then you die-" knew that line all too well resonation in my bones didn't feel so much like a stranger- my young self started spitting around the older crowd they looked down and smiled- a sense of admiration. Hip-hop was my way in my ticket to acknowledgment. Started listening to Eminem before I was even 10. 5th grade on the bus rides to and from field trips "Shut the **** up guys I'm trying to listen" headphones in, finally found someone to relate so many thoughts of suicide being taken away- realized the radio wasn't really my thing too much pop and not enough soul the words they sang were nothing to me. In the beginning hip-hop was just a facade I liked to play so other people would notice and think I'm pretty cool but somewhere along the line it took me over bumping nas, em and pac through my stereo mom looking in my room like "where the **** did my daughter go? she's listening to this ****, she's gotta get a grip-" But when I hurt the music would listen bass lines and samples running through my veins didn't know much about hip-hop except the way it made me feel.. Technology came abrupt and the computer was my safe haven the runaway from the abuse I was experiencing mommy and daddy fighting? headphones in so I can't hear it. crying through each verse and then the chorus hits and I'm better finally realized I wasn't alone in this hell hole. Started up a myspace- more room for discovery Eazy-e some Biggie more Nas and **** even some Jeezy. Every word they spoke became something that was apart of me. "Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop straight off the block." Nas said it best- old school rappers speaking to me before bed. Then I discovered Cudi, more Kanye, andre 3k. thought about how I had to write like this it was my destiny to manifest this passion put it into my pen until I could learn to lavish in the luxuries they could afford not the riches but the rhyme schemes and the way it helped me again and again would listen until I got tired notebooks full of rhymes my life was on the line and it became wired then came limewire and my mind blew up there's an entire world of music I never knew- download after download the music became me so much more to go through ****** up my computer virus to the hard drive all my music's gone. ****. Freaking out in my room at midnight threw a chair, punched the wall mom asking if i'm alright. "*******, go away" She thought the music was to blame but without that **** is why it happened never gave up on this **** called rappin' wrote my first rhyme when I was in 5th grade poetry turned to rhyme schemes and samples I liked to play. Passion turned to aggression when everyone started spitting thought this was me and no one elses has to prove who I was to the masses. High School came and I was "The girl who rapped" freestyle lunch sessions to secure it. Voices from the crowd "**** she murdered it". Slipped up- started on the pills too many thoughts in my mind too many demons to ****- ran away from the hip-hop turned that **** to heavy metal pop-punk and punk rock. Turned away my from my passion and started writing poetry stanzas, sibilance and sonnets filled my insides. I suffered without the classics the dream began to fade away. We moved- became a recluse. didn't eat for weeks but this time money wasn't the issue. Heard something bumpin' from the basement my hair stood up when I heard that base hit ran down like I was chasin' after my passion again "what is this?" my cousin laughed "Life Changes" "who is it?" "Wu-tang" he said to me I bobbed my head and smiled once again "Wu is indeed for the children" he laughed and so did I. Realized my love for hip-hop would never actually die. "Poetry, that's a part of me, retardedly bop I drop the ancient manifested hip-hop straight off the block"