last time I wrote about being homesick I was writing because you finally made me feel at peace but now I know that was just an illusion you created because you knew how badly I wanted a home.
I feel as if I will always be searching for something, anything, to take the intense emptiness away. I don't know when or where I left the pieces of me that make me whole but I was so sure you had picked them up on your journey to finding me. if home is truly where the heart is then my home is little places in each person I've given it too.
I think my biggest problem is I'm stuck searching for somebody to be my home instead of searching for who I really am. I just don't know how to want to find myself. if I knew where or why I left myself behind I would probably ignore it.
my whole life I've had this sense of wanderlust and I was so sure you cured me. I can't seem to understand where it is I need to be. I have no idea where my home is. I feel as if I was put here to find my place in this world but I took the wrong path and decided to find some body to be my place.
this path has lead me to be evicted from home after home until I've lost count of how many people have promised me forever and then decided this house was too crowded. I'm terrified that even if I found my self, my place, my meaning, I would be too much and yet again be evicted, left empty.