I've been thinking about you a lot lately. its hard to breathe and think these days and nights turning into tired mornings. rolling over wishing away the bright light that falls through my open curtains.
the street calls for me. my pen calls my name. asking me to write down short words about shorter roads that led me to dead ends. long lost in memories of years past. I have forgotten them. they are no longer part of me.
because roads i travel on now are hard and rough like calluses on the hands of cattle drivers through cold mountain passages in early spring. holding tight to ropes and reigns knowing all they can do is wake up and ride again because that is how they live.
they breathe like fire from the depths, melting the frost off of their mustaches and beards like icicles on the eves of your house. like scars on his chest. like leaves on trees i climbed as a child they fall down to the ground and turn to earthly dust. like birds in the sky in late july
when the wind is right I can smell your perfume. the sweet scent of you dreaming at night drifts to my open window 12 miles away and I live near the bay but the smell of salt does not drive it away it pushes me closer to the thought of laying in an open field holding you gently
and today the trees start to turn an awkward green before eventually burning seceding into blazing glory orange heat like red fire like phoenix into flames. all the other birds have gone away seeking a warmer place. daylight is short but it remains and it is enough to light the way down another rough road waiting for may. but once winter grey and white takes hold and takes flight, day claims back what was stolen by night. then comes spring chasing the grating dragging ice frozen pain it goes away and glory and hope become engrained in my brain and these birds they come back new strength to carry on. pushing through to make new buds to form the green wings for nests to rest and make love and make do and produce and take flight once more to heights thought not possible before. yes it passes all is transient everything massive everything trivial because menial tasks drive me and you insane but you cant be away when i need you the most. like now when im breathing so deep and i just want to speak to you. heart racing and thinking about facing away from tomorrow because today feels like im so far away from you. ok i know how to send signals of disgust and dismay but i want to connect to the ethereal plane inside of your brain and mind and soul and touch where you hold everything out so true and so plainly. because it is plain for me to see that i cant seem to get rid of the thought of you knowing more than my name. we could make brighter days and nights that we can light with our combined fire that can burn brighter than either of us can produce with all of our might.