its been awhile
since i picked up
my thoughts
all at once

i wonder how it would
go if i did it alone

if it would end
the same way

hospital trips
nervousness

thought it'd be easy
to go about it like this

i picked up all my thoughts
just to drop them again

and i feel like i won't be
able to push myself
to do that another time

reoccurring dreams say that

i've lost