I'm afraid because I saw you again for the first time in months
I tried not to think about all the **** you said
all the things you promised
and that month where we were inseparable friends
nothing more; exactly what I needed
I thought it was going fine
we didn't talk to each other the whole time
but then I saw something I can't get out of my head
it's been a week and a few days
and the image of the fresh red lines on your wrists
is burned into my eyelids
and every time I blink
my stomach drops
and when I try to fall asleep
my heart climbs up and lodges itself in my throat
making it so hard to breathe
you did some ****** up things to me
and I'm not someone who can just stop caring
especially when it's you
and when there's nothing I can do
you probably wouldn't listen to me anyway
which is funny because I haven't done anything wrong to you
which is funny because I shouldn't give two ***** about you
but I'm me, so I do
I try to reach you quietly
in a way where you won't know who I am
because I'm not trying to start ****
I just want you to be okay
well ****
why can't you just be safe