Look in the mirror.
What do you see?
I see a girl smiling back at me.
With sad, tired eyes
that screams of insecurity.
I see who I am
And in the reflection, I realized
I do not like what I see.
I see a wretched being
with a scarred past,
full of lies and lust,
and grief and anger,
and sorrow and distrust,
and wounds
that never healed fast.
I see a liar,
a cheat,
a master manipulator,
people-pleaser,
pretender,
a great actor,
putting up
a sweet,
gentle,
soft-spoken,
prim and proper front,
but living the life
of a desperate
******* by the well.
A scarlet letter in disguise.
Present day Magdalene.
Tamar,
ravaged,
broken,
defiled,
bruised,
bleeding,
de­ad.
Worthless.
Wearing a mask of a strong warrior,
everything alright.
Silver tongue,
knows all the right words
and how to say them.
But behind the mask
is a broken,
scared little girl
too conscious of her glaring,
blazing,
flashing neon light,
flaws:
ugly,
fat,
unworthy,
undeserving,
disgraced.
I see an ungrateful woman
given grace,
only to rebel
again
for the hundredth time.
I hung my head and closed my eyes,
shame creeping in my heart.
I heard my reflection call my name.
"Look up.
Look at me once again."
And I did.
Because there is something
about the voice,
something so gentle,
so compelling,
so attractive,
and warm
that I couldn't resist
but follow it.
A tender voice full of love.
A voice that made me feel
known,
fully known,
and still accepted.
A voice so full of love
it quieted the shame.
I looked up
and saw myself.
Basked in a glorious light
that isn't mine.
Shining so bright.
Radiating beauty
that didn't come from me.
I saw myself
clothed in white,
pure and holy,
and pleasing to the eyes.
No longer a wraith.
I looked
and saw myself
through my Savior's eyes:
a princess,
a royal priesthood,
a bride,
a daughter,
a warrior.
Chosen and cleansed.
I looked and saw myself
but the face on the mirror
was my Savior's face.
It was His beauty I radiated,
His light I shone.
He exposed my flaws
and revealed that in Him
I am a new creation.
I am a new creation.
Even if I don't see it sometimes,
I am a new creation.