You're my storm cloud disguised as sunshine but your masquerade never stops the rain. Laughs like lightning flashing across your face sharp and dangerous, followed by the thunder of my ignorance, cluing you in on how far your lies stretch into my desperation to be wanted.
Lightning. Thunder. Oh I never thought I was that funny Your electric strings Pull the punch lines out of my mouth. Thunder. The lightning's best friend.
Thunder. You must really like me You must have told your friends about me too. Because that cackles coming out of their throats when I tell a joke sound just like the storm, the zigzags of fire that tear through the clouds. telling me how funny I am, how much they love having me around. How you need me. Time for my response… its my job right? Thunder.
Why is it now that the way you curl your lips when I make my jokes looking less and less like a smile? Your friends know that shape and they know how to make their lips look the same way. Is it some contagious thing that they all have, and disease passed around the room every time that lightning escapes. But they all think I am funny It must just be a friend thing… I should learn how to do it too. Thunder.
Streaming pixels Blurry faces of “friends” it must have been a mistake The love me next time, I’ll make sure to clear it up with them why wouldn't they want me to attend? Thunder.
Glances like knives Darting through the air like flies and infestation of insects that carry messages that I don’t understand. But they do. Like a major league team catch after catch never missing those eyes that seem a little bit darker and a little bit colder. Passing the ball around the bases returning the favor. Why can’t I grip ball that seems to bind them all together leaving trails of text messages and parties that I was not invited to this ball that seems to always keep me on the outfield. And how come everytime that ball goes around and around…. its feels like a punch to the stomach never ceasing to knock me down and leave me breathless.
This must be what friendship feels like… Thunder.
Is it? because I look around these hallways where I always walk to fast trying to keep up yet I am always one step behind. I see that these other girls walk in straight lines arms joined so that no one falls too far behind yet I’m always walking in dizzy circles wondering when they will turn around to see if I am still following, still standing, still funny.
Thunder, the lightning's best friend… but that is never who I was to you.
another spoken word that I preformed today and will preform on wendsday in front of a larger audience, my entire grade oh goodness. this poem although open to interpretation does have some format that means something. So the lighting represents laughter and the thunder kinda represents be being clueless to the people laughing AT me not with me. That's at least how I mean it to be understood, but If you see it another way that that's cool too :)