"Only happy when it rains"

Am I that girl?
It was easy to deliver a
Eulogy, but a
Toast?
I choked on it,
Couldn't get it down.
Ready to jump out of my skin at a celebration,
Comfortable in the places
Designed to be
Uncomfortable.
Those are my
Places, where I am at
Ease, happy in an
Unhappy kind of way.

The people in
My  places, the
Insane, the abnormal,  the unwanted, the
****** up,
Those are
My people, comfortable. They
Know me.
Understand my own ****** up
Head.
They don't judge, don't
Look down,
Whisper when I walk away.
They don't notice.
Unnoticed is the best thing.