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Jun 2015
Sometimes I feel like I'm back,
Like I'm ******* back,
Back in the life I used to live,
Back in my old body with a weak chest,
And caving in ribs,
Like every single muscle is so relaxed,
Because it has no reason to move.

Sometimes I feel like I'm back,
Like I'm living in the past,
But I'm more alive than I have been,
And I am again who I once knew,
The person I am at heart,
Along with all the love,
And the sadness and pain.

And it hurts,
It hurts so ******* much,
I remember that I'm dying,
But I feel most alive,
When I am who I am,
And I'm not who I'm not,
And I live as myself.

I escaped myself for some time,
For quite nearly an age,
I was just like everyone,
Who lives in their minds,
I focused on my ego,
I pursued my selfishness,
And I neglected the humanity of others.

I was Normal.

But if I'm to stay that way,
I need to be smarter than that,
Than to return to any things of my past,
Any parts of myself,
I just can't look back,
I can't remember that life,
Where I was for so many years.

I am here now...
And I remember now...
I am alive now...
And I am myself now...
And it's difficult to make the decision now,
Wether I should accept the new hollow person I became,
Or to return to the person with mind and heart in harmony.

I am Not Normal.

Because despite my unity of soul and spirit,
The link only exists as it degrades,
And with it degrades the rest of me,
All of which I once was and am,
My health,
My sanity,
And my existence.

And it splits me,
From a single central point,
In every radial direction,
Making pieces out of me,
Like a puzzle no one puts together,
Because the masterpiece painted on it,
Might be too much to want to see.
I need to get back into writing, my style is becoming less and less refined...
Víctor Manuel Serna
Written by
Víctor Manuel Serna  Tucson, AZ
(Tucson, AZ)   
     Thomas Davies, WistfulHope and ---
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