is it wrong to plan everything out so that the stars don't collide when they align?
is it wrong to be terrified of the road ahead, even if I trust the driver?
is wrong to seize everything and make sure I am where I am supposed to be?
no matter what i find myself piddling through all my thoughts my hopes and dreams my wishes and desires trying to find the one that paralyses me the least but they all petrify me just the same.
this next year is my last. my last band camp. my last marching band season. my last first day of school. my last new set of classes. my last time meeting new teachers. my last time sitting in those classrooms with those stupid desks that creak too much. my last time walking through the halls of my high school.
it's coming. soon. graduation. i can taste the freedom it's taunting me with. and yet here I am, begging it to procrastinate.
i want to be free, away from high school, and home, and this state.
but I've made a life here. but I've made friends here. but I've grown roots here.
maybe eventually i'll be okay with ripping
but not right now. not right now. not right now. not right now.
I've never been so scared for the future in my life.