i heard it in his voice, desperation was seeping from his lungs through the phone that night. he wouldn't let me off because he thought i was going to do it. i kept trying to reassure him that i was okay and that i was talking about myself over the past few weeks and months, not in that exact moment.
alas, he didn't let me sleep alone that night. i could hear the desperation in his voice as he begged me to stay because things will be better one day and i know they will be, but its just so hard to see sometimes. i could hear the desperation in his voice as he gave me more reasons to live as quickly as he could, because i could feel how afraid he was.
he is wonderful, and i am grateful for him everyday. i don't want him to have desperation in his voice ever again when it comes to me, because its not fair to him that he has to worry about someone so broken.
i just want him to be happy, and i want to be there when he is.