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Mar 2015
i wonder, when you think about me
and all the things you think i was, and did
do you remember
that i was seventeen?
do you know that you traumatized me?
do you know that there is a year
that i don't remember
because of you?

i wonder, when you think about me
and visit all my old haunts
lurking, looking for a weakness
a nearly healed wound
to open back up again
i wonder, do you still see me
as the predator
and not the prey?

i wonder, when you think about me
do you remember
what really happened
or just what you told them?
have the lies transformed
changed shape, through sheer will
and become the truth?
what am i to you?

i wonder, when you think about
what happened in southern california
do you remember my words
my trembling body in your arms
the tears that never seemed to stop
the photos you cropped me out of
or just the things you'd decided
that i'd done?

a painting knocked off the wall
while i slept on the couch
that i couldn't have reached standing up
a statue that i did my best to fix
the ***** in the sink that nobody saw
the nine panic attacks that just had to be fake
do you even remember the truth?

i wonder, when you think about me
in the night, wherever you live now
do you still hurt, deep down
like a scar that never healed
do you carry regrets in your heart
or is there just the satisfaction
that nobody will ever know
what you really did to me?
charley gwenn
Written by
charley gwenn  25/F
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