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Mar 2015
[WARNING: detailed poem...]

She takes the pills to numb the pain
She smokes a joint to keep her sane
Pulls out a knife to relieve the stress
Her feelings inside she can no longer compress
Numbing sensation began to kick in
Girl looks at the knife about to begin
The sharp blade glistened in the lamp light
All her built up anxiety will leave tonight
She grips the handle in her sweaty palm
Her heart pounding loud like exploding bombs
The life she lives in fills her with pain and dread
But soon enough those feelings will be dead
She sets the edge of the blade on her skin
Her anxiety's patience wearing too thin
She applies the pressure to relieve those feelings
Tears fill her eyes and she looks to the ceiling
Her mistakes and hurt are haunting her
This is what she wants to do, she is sure
Girl drags the glistening blade across her wrist
Her hands no longer shaking, her hand makes a fist
The first was not satisfying enough
She can take a few more, she is tough
11 more lines of her torn skin
Her mind begins to scream within
Her pain temporarily gone
The ****** lines have been drawn
She watches as the blood flows
The red color increases on each row
Girl grabs a rag to slow the bleeding
This was something she had really been needing
Looking in the mirror, she begins to cry
Lasting an hour, she then lets out a sigh
This isn't how she wanted her life to be
But this habit, this addiction, had no end to see
There was no redemption in sight
She wishes she could say this was the last night
As she looks into her own eyes in the reflection
She longs her life would go a different direction
But there was too much suffering to endure
This was going to happen again, she is sure
She lies down on her bed
Letting her silent tears be shed
Closing her eyes, she falls asleep
She knows tomorrow, she'd again be weak.
Becka Dibble
Written by
Becka Dibble  KCMO
   Ariel Baptista
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