Took a lot of self reflection
With a lot of second guessing
to realize that I really kind of ****.

My mind would tell me "compromise"
Then my mouth would shout a bunch of lies
And my brain just goes "what the..duck"

I don't know why I do it
I mean i think the point's been proven
That illusion just seems to suit me best

So I'm left feeling pretty stupid
And obviously just really useless
But that's only one part, what about the rest?

I try and get more hugs and kisses
But end up with more swings and misses
And the ratio is going down quick

I try to fix me mentally
But from everything you're telling me
I should just go **** a dude's...lemon

Sure, it's oversimplified
Of course there's more than "I just lied"
To cement why we didn't work it out.

What if I just told you guys
That after all the times I tried
"The stupid" in me just leaves her with more doubt

And going unaddressed
Is something that I will confess
Can't be done when you're old like me

So through all the pain and  stress
You just try and do your best
And end up like..a..cat..out to sea..

But..all the time to ruminate
Over all the stuff I really hate
About myself that I didn't fix fast

I'll take this time to meditate
To someday maybe mediate
A date that she won't throw you on your ***.

Obviously, this girl was perfect
And by any measure totally worth it
That's why it's weird she let you just walk

So I know your reason
But from what she's seeing
Don't hold your breath if you're waiting to finally talk.