Who am I....
What is my definition...
Is my life a whole entire lie?
Are my decisions based off of insecure me?
Do I have a soul
Am I even real...
Am I alive like ****...
I don't know...
And that's okay...
I crave love...
And I don't know how that can be when I don't even know my own self...
James...once you were sweet now....your simply James
...your not an ex...your a thought
...he's no longer a feeling he's more of the Grimm reaper...
He is the dead past of me...but somehow I'm connected to that past and my whole life thrives upon it
...and I don't want to let go and I don't know if I'll ever tbh
...I don't love him...we didn't love each other...I just loved the way he made me feel
...he was the energy motivating me throughout my day
He was my security because I has none...
I hated myself...I just wanted to be someone else
...I remember watching all these I hate being black vids, bleaching skin, growing long hair...
I mean looking back now I wonder how I even dealt....how I faked my smiles
...and I don't know
And that's fine
All I know of is...right now
I'm confused with life
And I still don't ******* know...